The Superstar DJ

He’s the ‘superstar DJ’, net worth approximately $30 million, who makes a living by making a beat, which sounds very similar to the beat he made on the song prior to that, prolonging the ‘drop’ to get you somewhat excited for it, and he.. Or most likely his management find a popular artist to collaborate with to get the promotion he needs. On top of that he does these huge tours and live shows, gets thousands of brain-dead human beings turning up just to hear the French DJ press play on a pre-recorded set list, and shout ‘are you ready? Put your hands up!’ Yep… there is no real authenticity here, no real talent, and I’m slowly starting to lose faith in humanity. If you want a video description type ‘WHEN WILL THE BASS DROP? (ft Lil Jon)’ into Youtube, those Lonely Island guys have pretty much cracked it.

So, imagine this. You walk into a club… for the sake of this story let’s say it’s Oceana. The first thing you notice is how wretched the security guard is checking your id, it’s because he’s already had an argument with a bloke for turning him down for wearing Air Max’s. You walk in and notice the size of the heels and the amount of make-up caked on a girls face, you then look at the big-muscled hair-slicked back bloke she’s twerking her revelling bottom on. But anyway, you continue to the bar. You’ve been stood there for five minutes and you’ve accidently bumped into a Barbie, oh sorry I mean a girl, and its game over for you. She furiously turns to you and says, ‘excuse me what the fuck are you doing?’, and you reply with an apologetic but shocked, ‘I’m so sorry!’ but still, that doesn’t matter. Because you obviously did it on purpose so now her and her minions are giving you the evils like your Adolf Hitler. And it doesn’t get any better for the boys, it’s a battle of who’s got the bigger balls, if you bump into one of those lads you’ve woken up with a black eye and blood sploshed on your top.

So where am I going with this? Well, David Guetta released his sixth-studio album on 21st November 2014 entitled Listen.
Now the reason I got you to imagine being at Oceana is because these are the type of people who live and die for a music artist like David Guetta, this ladies and gentleman, is Electric Dance Music.

It would be unfair to make a generalisation about everyone who listens to EDM, because of course I don’t think literally every single person is a fucking twat. But, from most personal experiences of being a student and exploring different types of venues and the people they attract, places that play EDM make me feel uncomfortable, I have to worry about what I’m wearing or if there is make-up on my face… Oh and my arse should probably showing for effect.

So to make some sense of what I’m trying to express, artists like David Guetta, Calvin Harris and Avicii have no authenticity, and a lot of people who I’ve met who love fist pumping to his music are brain-dead twats. So my question is, what do you actually like about EDM?

Kenya Scarlett